I havn't updated in a while, so I thought I'd let you all know I'm well and still here.. I just havn't had time to get on here a lot has been happening.

First off, I've had a lot of trouble at college with a certain teacher. I'm not going to go into it. But the basics are that my art teacher actually makes me never want to ever go to his lesson ever again and makes me feel like one of the worst artists in the world. Thank you very much mr.

I've been bogged under with college work. So I've been doing that most of the time. Or working when ever I can so that I can have some money which seems very rare these days.

I've also been having more and more dreams of that Mr. Hippie, and I have a feeling it will happen soon. More of my dreams have been becoming true, so I've been thinking about that a lot. It's been over two years since I've had a proper boyfriend, coincidently, or not, it's also been over two years since I've seen my farther, or even spoken to him... I'm starting to think that has something to do with it all.

I went away for the weekend to welcome in the summer down in Hastings, and it was fantastical. Even if I did come back looking like a fried lobster.
I also saw my Grandma and Grandpa for the first time in a while. My Grandma is looking so old and worn now, she can barly hear at all, she's getting smaller, and it's even harder for her to walk now. She's deteriating so much and it made me want to cry. That and the fact that it took her a while to actually realise who I was cause she didn't recognise me...
My Grandpa isn't too well either, his ankles are getting worse and worse and neither of them are getting out as much as they used to, which is really bad. I don't even think my Grandma leaves the house....



Good things...

I'm still vegan, My dreads are going really well and are very nearly a year old . I've lost a lot of weight, and feel better for it. I am now wearing clothes that are more summer girly, which I think looks good.. odd but good. I'm doing really well at college, well apart from the art part. I got the highest marks out of everyone on my IT keyskills exam. and it's summer soon.

Bad things...

what I said above that was bad. The fact that I'm getting more confident with my appearence, I still feel like rubbish half the time because of things people say. I really want a relationship. I don't need one, just want one really badly. It's summertime, I'm 18, and I still havn't had anything I can class as a proper relationship. And I guess that is my fault, but I can't find anyone that gets me the way a boyfriend should. There's always a load of problems in the way, or I have major things in my life that they don't understand, so they can't deal with it. I think thats one of the main things... I want someone who understands me. That I want to be with and who wants to be with me even when things are bad. Thats what makes a relationship perfect, wanting to be with them, through the rough, through the shit times, just... wanting to be there for each other... but alas, I can never find such a thing...


Well... I think that's it... so yeah.
I'm still here, and I'm still well... and all that's been happening, and I miss you all, so talk